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April 4, 2008
...the 2 worst things about chemo
For me, the worst thing about chemotherapy isn’t the baldness or the tiredness. It is the fact that you feel great going in and then leave feeling bad. Here is a good example of this: on Wednesday (before chemo) I worked 8 hours and then ran/walked for 1 hour and still had energy to go out to dinner and get some work done. Yesterday (after chemo), I ate a tiny amount of dinner and then, when I walked down the hall to my bed, had to stop and rest before turning the corner to my room. I had to stop and rest. Arggg…
The second worst thing about chemotherapy is that in order to go back for each treatment (and since this was my second time this started at the first round) the part of you that makes you “you” (maybe your personality or something) has to go into hiding. I think, in order to do what must be done you have to become a bit of a no-feeling/thinking robot and just go in and do it. If you go in open to feeling things than its too scary and you would just stay in the car.
Perhaps all of this is why, when the chemo has worn off a bit, I’m so ready to be back being myself and doing whatever I want to.
On the up side, I am now 3/4 of the way done with this specific drug combo and 3/8 done with the whole stinking process. :)
